2. When in doubt, just take the next small step

Surprise, surprise. I have a crush on someone at work.

As I get older and as I spend less and less time at bars and clubs, I find it harder and harder to meet people. My friends that are in relationships all have friends who are also in relationships. My single friends are single because they can't meet nice guys. I'm sick of internet dating. So what's a girl to do?

 To be fair, I've had a crush on this guy at work for a long time. Like, since he started. But he's always had a girlfriend and so I never really tried to lay any foundation (no pun intended). However, he's always been more than co-worker cordial if we've ever had a chance to talk one on one. One might say he is a little flirty.

Cut to last August and a former co-worker and I are walking outside the building to go to lunch. We bump into the guy and she says hello and they start talking about how they need to get together for that drink after work but one or the other keeps cancelling. I stand by politely while they chatter. It then comes up that he's just broken up with his girlfriend of three years, not a week before. It isn't lost on me that as he says this, he makes a point of looking at me. Now, I'm not saying he's interested nor has he ever made any moves in that direction. I'm just saying I noticed.

Then, a couple of months later, the Christmas party announcement comes out. Last year, he went as another co-worker's "date" and I joked that had I known he was accepting offers, I would've put my hat in the ring. So, the minute the save-the-date email was sent, I forwarded it to him and said, "Are you accepting date offers this year? If so, I have first dibs." He responded by saying that would be out of town on business that week, but that had he not been, he would've accepted my invitation without hesitation. I'm not saying he suggested we go out another time. I'm just saying he wasn't totally put off the idea.

These are two small examples of our interactions over the past few months. We don't really have daily interactions because we don't normally work together.  And when you group these ambiguous interactions with my hesitation to date someone at work and my suspicion that we don't have much in common, the seed of doubt starts to look more like a peach pit rather than a kiwi seed.

But I can't ignore my gut feeling either. As much as I'd like to do what I always do and push the feeling aside, it's still there, staring at me in the face with its big brown cow-eyes.

So last week, I decided to start laying that foundation, one brick at a time. A "good morning" here. A compliment there. A glance and a smile when normally I wouldn't bother. And all well-received so far, which boosts my confidence to continue with my plan.

One brick at a time and soon, I'll have a pathway. Maybe it ultimately won't lead to him, but the lessons I learn from its construction will definitely help to lead me somewhere.